Pitiful Humans

I have realized that in my home, all the news stories are covered. Mike keeps up with all the political and current event stuff while I tell him things like 'Did you know the results for Anna Nicole's baby daddy are going to be revealed in a few days?" (which has a never ending time limit on it. I don't think anyone knows..not even the people testing the DNA) or "Did you hear about the A&M freshman that went missing and found out her boyfriend did some heinous things?" (won't go into detail on that out of respect for that beautiful young lady) Or my personal favorite, "_______'s* neighbor was the 'stinky body in the trunk of the car' guy" (*name omitted to protect the fabulous.)

He was clueless. Oh. My. Gosh. Is he for real? Reveling in my 'I know something you don't know' power, I had to tell him everything that had been going on outside of Obama and Hillary's bitch fight on the campaign trail.

When he tries to tell me stuff about the political front, I just ask if Hillary was wearing any nail color and if her shoes matched the horns on her head. I already said I would vote for John Edwards because he reminds me of a friend of mine, Sorensen. Yeah, that's how you want to pick a presidential candidate...by how closely they resemble your friends. If that's the case, we should have some really hot candidates running amuck. Write In Candidacy for John Stewart!
So after I fill him in on the Hollywood gossip, that he will get by being forced to watch The Soup on Friday nights anyway, he tries to fill me in on current events...which ends up being verbal valium to me and as effective as Unisom...cue the sheep...the Vixen's fallin asleep.