Favorite Holiday Characters

My favorite Christmas time characters and who they would be if they were in the real world:

Frosty the Snowman- this guy is a mobster. He's jolly, cold and has ice running through his veins. Has a freezer fetish. Likes his ladies "on ice"

Kirby from Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer ("Hi, my name is Kiiirbeeee and I want to be a denstist.") - He would be the sweet little thang wearing Daisy Dukes on the corner of Grant and Pacific in Montrose. The blonde wavy hair, red lips and small hips just scream "Fruity".

Rudolph with his red nose has a bit of a nose candy problem in the real world. He just THINKS it glows on a foggy night. In the real world..it's just the hallucinations from his high. Uh, that's not *real* snow on your nose is it dude?

Santa would be that cool grandpa that everyone loves. You always know you're going to get something good when he visits. And in the real world, there is no 'list'...he gives you stuff anyway just for being you.

Ms. Claus is a jealous b!tch. She keeps Santa couped up all year long all to herself except for one day a year. That's the only time he's allowed out. No wonder he like to spend so much time with the elves. Especially when she jumps on her menstrual cycle and runs his ass over with it.

The Grinch. This is that mean relative that never dies. You notice that? The grumpier they are, the longer they live. He's the guy who pops your red balloon and blames it on your dad. And he doesn't flush the toilet all the way.

The mailman from Santa Claus is Coming to Town. He's the first guy bit by a dog on Christmas day...because you let the dog out of the yard on purpose. He's way too chipper and dances with the squirrels too much.