I can't give you brains, but I can give you a diploma. - Wizard of Oz

I'm counting down the days until graduation. 15 days! Yippee! I haven't been to class since February...and haven't had any papers due. But still. I'm finally walking across the stage and getting my degree with Summa Cum Laude honors. (I have to mention it everytime because my crackhead school doesn't put it on the diploma. But it's on the program I'm told...as if that will appease me. I can't frame the program, genius. Sigh, my competent school administration does it again.) Note to self, find someone who can write calligraphy.

The biggest problem?

And I think I've forgotten everything I've learned.

One of the biggest lessons I learned was procrastination on an expert level. I could wait to write a paper until the last day. Then have a bottle of wine and crank out a paper between 9pm-2am the night before. That's skillz. And I do it well. Nothing like pressure, booze and chaos to bring out the creative side.

Do I do that in real life? No. I plan meticulously. When I go on vacation, I am so anal that I make sure that I pack two pairs of underwear per day. One for the day, the second to sleep in. Then the cycle starts over. I have a pair of shoes to match each outfit. My Paris Hilton gold Guess heels are still in the trunk of my car...I never got to wear them last weekend. And they're hot.

We went to the Hill Country for a motorcycle rally. It was fun...but really chilly. I come bouncing out of the hotel room with a cute irish green tank top, white eyelet shorts, a green Notre Dame ballcap and my green striped Holly socks. It was a bitchin outfit. I looked adorable...and about 5 years younger. The guy I was riding with said "NO"...go change into something warmer.

I'm glad I did. Cuteness factor does not matter when you are doing 70-80 mph on the back of a Heritage Harley. Brrrrr.....and the wind whipping my face made me almost cancel my next micropeel appointment. The wind on the open road took care of any exfoliation needed on my face that day.

There were a lot of bikes out that day. There was a group called Dykes on Bikes. Not sure if that's the real term for the group, but that's what everyone called them. I have to admit, one chick had a really cute pink bike with a perfectly coordinated outfit and helmet. She was total coolness.

So now, Mike wants a bike. I'm all for it. I want one too. But I don't even know where to start. So I'll wait for someone to come along and do the research and picking out for me. Namely, Mike. It's his job.

So randomly before I close this post...have any of you noticed the stupid ads on Myspace? Wait, that's a vague statement...let me narrow that down, the Match.com ads. When you send an email, post a bulletin or logout, there's a 'video' ad for Match.com. Have you ever actually watched it? I did...mainly for curiosity to see how long the guy was going to act stuff out. There's one guy who is dressed in scrubs and looking at the camera (you) and writing stuff down on his little tablet at leering the whole time, probably writing down your measurements. But if you are sitting at your desk, how does he know you're not an 'iceburg'?

So anyway, then he walks up to the screen and does the head to toe look, and it's NOT sexy. It's creepy. I wouldn't want to date this guy if I saw him anywhere doing this, or just anywhere in general. He's the Match.com guy. Ew.

So he does his catwalk strut, and foodles (yes, I said foodle) with his stethoscope. It made me feel uncomfortable watching it because it was kind of painful. I had to close one eye in shame. I mean, how BAD is this guy's agent that he gets this gig? When he goes out he's known as the Match.com guy playing "doctor". I felt bad for him. It's like being in those genital herpes commercials. Bad move, bad agent, then again, he's a bad actor. Soap operas have better actors.

I saw him again on one of the Match.com ads, but this time he was a musician. Whoa buddy! You are versatile! A doctor AND a musician? Where do I sign up? It reminded me of that 40 year old Bowflex guy who's a professional during the day and rockstar at night. I still don't have a Bowflex, so I guess the commercial didn't work. Which may be why I don't have a Bowflex body either.

But the Match.com guy had eyeliner on and it made him blink a lot. Reminded me of Zoolander. Now watch, you will ALL log in to Myspace and log out just to see the guy. There are a couple different ones, so you may not run across the Ben Stiller looking guy that I've been saddled with. Happy hunting!