You may be right, I may be crazy. But I just may be the lunatic you're looking for.

On The Chopping Block This Week:

• One of the three Fates, the one that looks like a linebacker
• Lips
• SweetnLow (gasp, who saw that coming?)

The start of the night was uneventful. The girls had to compete for a private date by singing an italian aria. Made MY ears bleed. The line backer won the contest. They go on a one on one date to an opera house...mind you...it's an empty opera house. She's wearing a red ball gown and $2 MILLION dollars (insert pinky at corner of mouth Dr. Evil style) worth of jewels. On loan compliments of ABC. He makes her sing her aria, and then a real opera signer comes out. Now this opera singer is GOOD...but he looks like some mafia guy from Miami Vice in the 80's. Nice feathered hair. The Italians have not caught up with fashion and are stuck in 80's hairdo's at this time.

They get up to dance and it's like watching two 8th graders dancing with someone for the first time. ummm, AWKWARD. Even I had to look away...or get up to get some ice cream. So they are sitting on the couch in the middle of the opera house and he tells her that he can't give her the rose because he felt like he was talking to his best friend, and not really attracted to her in 'that way'. I honestly think that her size scared him and he wants someone more feminine. She seems to be one of those girls who plays co-ed softball and flag football with the guys. Some guys dig it, some guys don't. So she goes home. Straight to the airport in her gown. YEOWCH!

yes, he got the jewels back though. don't worry.

next day, ho hum, 6 girls go on a group date with him. To a vineyard. I think it was just to fill time. The only part funny was that the tree hugger was whining that it's not romantic being with 5 other girls and a guy. But she was whining to the girls. The girl I call Bubbles confessed to the camera that she wanted to hurl her off the balcony. yeah, tree hugger keeps throwing that "I got the rose first" in everyone's face. (She also got the first kiss...yipee) But at the rose ceremony she was the next to last one to get one. Take THAT Biotch! Oh, and Skipper Barbie revealed to the prince that she is a virgin. I'd have mixed feelings about that. It's every guys dream to have a virgin, but then you don't know if she's going to be a cold fish. I'd want someone experienced myself. I don't want to have to teach anyone "tricks".

Now to my favorite...a date with the prince, Bella and the beloved SweetnLow. They didn't show much of it, but the prince said in not so many words that he thought SweetnLow was bipolar and sent her extension flipping tail home. I was upset because she was the most interesting part of the group. With her flipping her ratted out extensions (seriously, don't they have a stylist on staff?)...and her talking about they are perfect for each other because they both come from wealthy backgrounds. That's a recipe for love dontcha know?

Bella and the prince then stood on the balcony and shared a moment. Fireworks started going off in front of the balcony and it scared the beejeezus outta her. She spilled her wine and probably wet her pants at the same time. It was so funny I have to rewind it and watch it again. They shared a kiss, that was MUCH better than the one with tree hugger. Watch out for those italian women! Tree hugger doesn't have a chance after that kiss. Who wants vanilla megawatt smilling girl when he can have a spicy meatball like Bella?

But, it is The Bachelor. He'll pick the one that is the most boring. It happens every time.

For my SweetnLow-ism for this blog, she tells us that Bella has an easier time understanding her when she's talking because she speaks slowly and with an italian accent. WHAT?!?! SweetnLow does NOT have an italian accent, she's from Houston and has a Houston/Paris Hilton twang. Then they show a clip of them saying their good nights to each other and there it is...the "accent". But it's not an accent. She's speaking in broken english...which is stupid. She tells Bella, "I go sleep now." "I see in morning" I give her the slow hand clap. Bravo.

Not to fret fans of SweetnLow. Next week, because things are a little slow, and the producers LOVE her, she comes back. That's right, the bitch is back and she's pitting the girls against each other. Finally, a little excitement. I want to see people cry and catfight. I want emotional scarring and drama. In my humble opinion, she is a few fries short of a happy meal, but she make great tv. I think she was probably "in" on the whole thing from the beginning. The mole in the group if you will. I don't think SweetnLow was too sad about leaving. She is probably being setup in a nice Roman hotel with maids and room service. Ahhh, home sweet home.

Either way, I am glad the producers kept her on as an instigator. I'm rubbing my hands with glee at all the evil that will be inflicted. This game is too easy...spice it up! I'm glad Lips went home. Every rose ceremony she would look all watery and pouty. Who wants that around all the time? Made Michael cringe everytime they showed her.

I think I watched too much Flavor Flav so I expect more drama. But with SweetnLow back next week and nothing to lose, this should be good.