Producer's Pet

Good thing for everyone that I didn't give ALL the girls nicknames. Of the three that went home, I only gave one a name. I figured she'd go farther.

The Roadkill Posse:
Beyonce
The girl who slipped in unnoticed, Ellen
One of the three fates, Kim

I think Beyonce went home because the bachelor may not be open to 'mixed' relationships. She's Canadian, he's American...it's taboo ya'll.

It's a shame Kim was sent home. I had a great name for her after yesterday's episode: Slurricane. This girl got SO trashed that as she's talking to the camera, she says "I'm going to throw up". She doesn't, which sucks...that would have been great! The best part was when she slowly slides out of the frame and falls flat onto the reflective panel that a guy was holding (its to control the lighting for the shot). Apparently, she, like a raccoon is attracted to shiny things. PHLUNCK! Nothin' but class. Give that girl another cocktail.

This poor thing passed out on the beach, and when they woke her up...it was like you had a front row seat to a Margot Kidder/Anne Heche freak out. She thought the bachelor was the waiter. Another Mai Tai Jose!

SweetnLow, my favorite for all the wrong reasons displayed some of the funniest fake acting I have ever seen. And I've seen a lot, hell, I've done a lot of bad acting myself. She actually told the host that there were no maids and she can't live like that. Like, Oh My Gaw! She solved her problem though...this demented creature realized she could just "hire" one of the other girls to clean up after her. PERFECT! (Clapping hands ecstatically and jumping up and down) It will be sad when the producers decide it is time for the show to be serious and let the Paris-wannabe go home.

I think Bubbles just walked into the wrong room when they were interviewing for this show. She was looking for Flavor of Love and ended up on a plane to Rome. Easy lay, but not someone you take home to mom...or let feed your pet hamster for that matter. Well, maybe the hamster, but NEVER the cat. I'm not letting her loose around a free range animal.

The tree hugger is just annoying now. She's got such a big head now because she got the first rose that I don't see how she fits into the doorway. She's not the dominant femme fatale she thinks she is and she prances around like this is all a formality and she has it in the bag. This is the same girl who has 10 months to find a husnbad and have a baby on her time schedule she set out for herself. She's Charlotte from Sex in The City neurotic.

On the downside, there are way too many damn commercials. It took 20 minutes to watch an hour show. Thank you DVR!

Last week's preview teased that someone would 'lose it' and is obsessed with the bachelor. The only person obsessed is SweetnLow with her reflection. Nothing happened. Whatever. I'm pissed. They really need to show more of our beloved SweentnLow princess (who by the way, wears a tiara ALL THE TIME! Excellent).

If the show doesn't pick up and become more dramatic (ie catfights, ridiculous drinking binges and crazy b!tches) I'm just going to have to re-evaluate my recaps and just go with SweetnLow-isms. Everything that comes out of her mouth is pure gold. Click the link, she compares herself to Princess Di, and Belle from Beauty and the Beast...but thinks it's about a princess who just wants to live on land. (Ahem, that would be the Little Mermaid) Pure GOLD!